allisonthenerdmachine:

On a scale of 1 to the War of the Worlds broadcast how misunderstood is your joke.

(Source: sklmmons)

mishasminions:

trust-me-imma-doctor:

glitterbites:

Collecting these because no one understands their genius. They make me want to go to school. Ps please don’t change the source!

The Jesus one tho

GPOY

veracrossing:

This is my favorite leap year quote. 

veracrossing:

This is my favorite leap year quote. 

sharonosbourne:

yzma:

sharonosbourne:

urbanfuck:

sharonosbourne:

I want to kiss the person that created ramen noodles

image

momofuku ando — the creator of ramen

I want to kiss Momofuku Ando

he’s been dead for six years

EVERY TIME I FALL IN LOVE SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS

(Source: andrewbelami)

thats-slightly-raven:

feistie:

thats-slightly-raven:

I JUST BURNT MY HAND ON MY LAMP TRYING TO TURN IT OFF LAMPS SHOULD NOT BE HOT ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU THIRD DEGREE BURNS THIS IS BULLSHIT.

maybe if you’d go outside and used natural sunlight instead of running your lamp for 13 hours straight, this wouldn’t happen :)

OH I’M SORRY IT’S 3:38AM LET ME JUST WAKE UP THE SUN SO I CAN SIT OUTSIDE WITH MY SKINLESS BURNT HAND AND BASK IN THE GLORY OF NATURAL DAYLIGHT.

anindoorkitty:

Cumberbatchweb ‏@cumberbatchweb16m
Absolutely hilarious Cumberbatch story MT @Ruther2: #thesubwhofanciesCumberbatch has a great story from @CaitlinMoran pic.twitter.com/ztyToZRkbO
Too cute!

scienceing:

if you ever think that you’ve made a big mistake, just remember that in 1788 the Austrian army attacked itself and lost 10,000 men

awkwardvagina:

so i googled gangster goose and let me tell you that i was not disappointed 

image

(Source: awkwardvagina)

(Source: batreaux)

neenuhbee:

queenaisling:

a-weeping-fangirl:

When the back of a book has a bunch of reviews instead of a summary

image

Except for Ellen’s book right

image

and tina fey’s
image 

(Source: cosettemartell)

superwhoavengelockandme:

convixial:

hickish:

anekatips:

i couldn’t resist i bought a giant spoon ok someone save me from my compulsive buying


you aren’t alone

OMG please get married.

superwhoavengelockandme:

convixial:

hickish:

anekatips:

i couldn’t resist i bought a giant spoon ok 
someone save me from my compulsive buying

image

you aren’t alone

OMG please get married.

image

(Source: lokalrunde)